Intimations Online
Although it's difficult today to see beyond the sorrow,
May looking back in memory help comfort you tomorrow.


Losing a loved one can be very traumatic and everyone grieves in different ways. For most of us, bereavement will be the most psychologically distressing experience we will ever face and there is no 'normal' or 'right' way to grieve.

How we react will be influenced by many different things, including our age and personality, our cultural background and religious beliefs, our previous experiences of bereavement and indeed the age of the person we have just lost, and the circumstances surrounding their death.

The shock can make you numb and it may take you a while to understand what has happened. Some people carry on as if nothing has happened, whilst others may throw themselves into the practicalities of winding up the persons affairs.

Death can seem cruel and unfair, especially when you feel someone has died before their time or when you had plans for the future together. Death can leave you feeling angry and you may even question your faith.

Other people’s reactions can also be difficult to deal with and often it is because they do not know what to say or how to react to your loss. This is hard, especially when you may want to talk about the person who has died and how you are feeling.

Thinking you are hearing or seeing someone who has died is a common experience and you may find that you can't stop thinking about them and the events leading up to the death.

Depression can set in and life might not seem worth living.

It is said that the only sure thing in life is death, and when someone close to us dies we have to cope and adjust to living in a world which is totally changed. Life will never be the same again, but the grief and pain should lessen and there will come a time when you are able to adapt to life without the person who has died.

Carrying on with life does not mean that we need to forget about the person, indeed it is healthy to talk about them and keep their memory alive. They may not be with you in body, but the memories of times spent together can help you cope with life without them.

Don’t be afraid to talk about them and your special memories of them, write them down if you feel it helps. Keep your favourite photographs of them and something of special value to them. If appropriate, you could consider dedicating a Park Bench or Planting a Tree in their memory.

Above all, Don’t forget that although we may feel that we are on our own, there are organisations who are there to help and who understand our loss. Don’t be afraid to ask.